Anonymous asked: Hi, you don't know me. I saw your post randomly about your grandpa dying. I'm so sorry for your loss. Today was my grandpa's 82nd birthday...he died last June of cancer. He essentially was my father, and we were very close. It pains me to see someone else going through what I went through. I hope with everything in me that you can find it in yourself to accept it, and to carry him with you--knowing that he knew you loved him, and that he loved you.
Thank you. I’m sorry about your loss as well. It hurts to know that he isn’t going to be there anymore, and I know that I should be happy that he isn’t suffering but it’s so hard to accept it. I know that I won’t get fully over it, that I will always have pain in my heart, but I know that I will be able to go on with my life like he would want.
So fucking beautiful. #entershikari
This man meant everything to me. Now he is gone. I must accept this fact. Face the fact he’ll never ask me how my day was, tell me stories from his childhood, about my grandmother, complain about my hair not being brushed, listen to him scream at the tv when the Rays are losing or just be in his presence. I miss him so much and it’s only been three days. This is the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life. A piece of my heart died with this man. He’ll alway be in my heart and on my mind every single day. I love him so much. I wish I could just have one more day with him. With him being happy, smiling and just being my grandpa. I miss you so much Papa Ed. I’m glad you’re not suffering, and that you’re in heaven with Nini Pat, but you will never be forgotten.
And the dozen roses he gave me too! (:
My best friend left this for me outside my car in the parking lot.
They were supposed to be lit but the wind blew them out. ):
I have way too much shit on my mind.
My grandpa doesn’t have much time left.
My mom is a wreck 24/7 and I’m not sure what to do.
My family is just so crazy right now.
All I do is work, stay in my room and watch tv.
I don’t really do anything else.
I don’t really hang out with friends.
I chain smoke like a mother fucker.
I’m stressed all the time.
I have shitty job, but it’s a job.
I hardly make anything.
All my money goes to gas, and cigarettes.
I’ve been debating on a second job so I can pay for stuff without having to rely on my parents for extra money.
It’s so ridiculous.
I don’t want to be home anymore but I don’t want to hang out with people either.
I don’t know what the fuck to do anymore.
I think I might dye my hair all red.
I don’t know yet…
And I’m not one to speak with poetry, but your body’s an ocean, the waves are closing in on me.– (via woeisroxanna)
Side to Side, We’re holding on for our dear lives, We’re going down. - Tyler Carter,